Fails and Reflections

Yesterday was a pretty solid fail for me. 

I laid in bed talking to Steve until 1am (this is an UNHEARD of hour for us) trying to process all of the ways I felt like I dropped the ball in my life. I came back from a 5 day trip to Colorado on Wednesday afternoon and jumped back into work on Thursday. 

If you give me 5 minutes, I can list alllll of the ways I failed yesterday, but in short: My To-Do list at one job is so long I want to curl up in the fetal position. I'm currently unsure of how I'm going to finish support-raising this summer. I'm so disorganized in my business that I need an entire day devoted to that. And worst of all, I didn't love people well yesterday. I felt distracted and weary, that is NOT the way I want to live my life. 

Today is my favorite day of the month, the last Friday. The last Friday of every month I order my large black coffee "for here" and camp out in the corner of my coffee shop (today there are a ton of tiny beebs here and I kinda just want to hold them all but I don't think their mamas would appreciate that). I pull out my journal, my Bible, and my goal setting planner. And I pray. I pray. I plan. I beg. I confess. I reflect. 

The last Friday of every month is notoriously my sweetest time with Jesus. I do a lot of confessing. All of the ways I dropped the ball and feel clouded by shame. It's kind of perfect that my day of fail was yesterday because I felt so raw and helpless before the Lord. 

After some reflection (with the help of my PowerSheets) SHAMELESS UNSPONSORED plug for these things. I discovered Lara Casey's blog a few years ago, but stumbled across her PowerSheets in December. I truly think these have helped me more than any other tool in goal setting and staying organized. I actually remember my New Years Resolutions and regularly go back and reflect then take steps towards accomplishing them. 

Anyway, here are my reflections from June: 

This month I am especially thankful for: God's grace and provision. 

This month someone I am grateful for and why: Jacque and Beth. They've been the greatest source of encouragement and support as I've pursued the oily biz. They've made it so fun. I love being teamed up with them.

I'm choosing grace over guilt about: not getting in the Word as much as I wanted. I know there's grace and I'm only hurting myself when I choose Netflix over Jesus. 

Progress I'm celebrating (even if it was small): Digging deeper into hard stuff in counseling. Not running away or shoving the darkest parts of my heart, but letting Jesus transform me through confession and using professional counseling as a resource. 

A favorite memory this month: Girls weekend in Colorado! Specifically, eating at Ocean Prime for basically free, breakfasts at our Airbnb, and chasing the sunset on Trail Ridge Road. 

A good lesson I learned: Turns out, I'm not Superwoman (though that movie was truly awesome). I can't do it all. 

Thanking Jesus big this month for his infinite grace. 

As I pray and reflect over July. I want to focus on getting organized in the 4 big areas of responsibility in my life (She Has A Name, H2O, support-raising, and the Oily Biz). Most importantly though, I want to genuinely love people and make them feel heard and supported. I will continue pressing into this brief verse in Philippians "As always, Christ will be honored..."

As always Christ will be honored in my marriage, at H2O, in my oils business, at She Has A Name, etc. 

What do you guys use for goal-setting? Do you have any end of the month reflection rituals? I'd love to hear them!


Here are some of my favorite pics from my girls weekend with 3 of my best friends (+ a trip to Denver to see my girl Maria):