Monday marks one year of marriage. One year of figuring out how to love someone more than I love myself. One year of cover snatching and Netflix binges. One year of hard days followed by laughs and awkward dance moves. One year of writing songs to our cat and having more arguments over driving than I could've dreamed. It's been 365 days since I met my forever love at the end of a wildflower lined aisle. Clearly I'm no marriage expert, but I would love to share with you a few things I learned.
- God's going to refine my character whether I'm married or not. I went into marriage with a decently healthy view. I understood marriage as more of a picture of the Gospel and less of a fairy tale. However, after reading countless Christian marriage books, I think I elevated marriage in my mind as a constant spiritual revelation. It's not been that for me. Yes, I see Jesus in beautiful ways through Steve, but I'm pretty sure God would've moved in my life whether or not I said "I do." So s/o to all the single people out there, God is God and is going to reveal himself to you regardless of your relationship status.
- There're days when I don't want to be married. I distinctly remember one Sunday a few months ago when Steve and I were having a rough day. We just couldn't get on the same page. We tried to be cutesy and sat in our hammock together, but instead of it being a perfect Instagram moment, it was humid, uncomfortable, and awkward (side note: I don't care what the tag says, double Enos do not fit two people). I ended up snapping at Steve. I remember journaling about how hard and frustrating marriage can be and how sometimes I think it'd be easier if I never walked down that aisle. But at the end of the day, it doesn't matter. I chose Steve. I chose him through good days and bad days and uncomfortable hammocks. It doesn't always matter how I feel. I'm married, even on days when I don't want to be.
- I have to fight to connect. I guess I thought once we were married, I would feel a constant connection to Steve. I don't. Sometimes I have to fight to engage, stay present, and listen. Sometimes I have to choose his way of connecting over mine. Sometimes I have to admit that sitting next to each other on the couch watching Netflix isn't actually connecting.
- The first year of marriage doesn't have to suck. Going into marriage, I was scared it was going to be awful. I heard the first year was the hardest, but for us, it wasn't. It wasn't peaches and roses constantly, but it was honestly really good. There are hard days, but it's been such a sweet gift getting to know this guy deeper and having someone who is always for me.
- I'm weirder than I thought. Like completely, ridiculously weird. Marriage brought out the weirdest parts of me (just ask my sisters). Steve and I regularly wonder if other couples are as strange as we are. I'm more of a homebody than I ever thought. I'd rather spend my Saturday night goofing off with Steve and singing songs to our cat than out at a random bar. Also, I sing to my cat. A lot.
I'm sure there're 1,000 other things I've learned and 2,000 more I'll learn next year, but for now, here're some of my fave pics from our first year of marriage.
With love and coffee,