Thanks dictionary.com for the definition of hope. A word plastered on signs and jewelry and Hallmark cards. Without this word, without hope, our days on this tragedy strewn planet would be impossible.
Lately, I’ve struggled with the concept of hope. What do I desire? What do I trust?
I’m a 100% support-based missionary. Meaning, I don’t get paid unless someone gives to my mission agency on my behalf. I love what I do. I love meeting with college women and walking with them as they learn to follow Jesus. I love seeing men and women go from spiritual death to life. I love praying with students as they experience the pressures and temptations of campus life. I love what I do. It’s worth the uncertain paycheck.
However, it’s easy to put my trust/desire in something other than Jesus. It’s easy to put my trust, my hope in the gracious men and women who sacrifice to join me in ministry.
Last night, I fought exhaustion as I “crunched numbers.” (I’m not a math person, so as a general rule, I shouldn't do this) Regardless of my less than desirable math skills, I found myself hoping, desiring, trusting in people to come through and make it possible for me to continue my mission work.
I tossed under my blankets stressed because there’s simply “not enough” money in the account. There’s no way for me to receive a paycheck. As stress overwhelmed and stole my sleep, I felt Jesus gently convict my heart:
“Sweet girl, where does your hope lie? In men and women and dollar signs? In broken human promises? In a once a month pay check? Sweet girl, your hope is in me. Your trust, your desire, your drive, it’s in me. If it’s in me, there is no need for worry or stress. There’s no concern over whether or not the paycheck comes because I am constant. I am here. No one takes me away from you. There are no broken promises with me.”
I instantly felt overwhelmed with gratitude and humility. Thank you JESUS my hope does not lie in feeble human hands but in nail scarred hands that taught birds to sing and opened blind eyes. PRAISE JESUS my hope is not in numbers I don’t understand. My hope is not in whether or not I receive a pay check. My hope is NOT in whether or not people support my passion for collegiate ministry.
God is good and gracious. He is our hope. I encourage you to take time to pray about this topic: where does your hope lie?
Y'all are wonderful.