Hello sweet friends, Per usual, it's been awhile. Life whirls past and my days quickly fill and my minutes seem too precious to write. Oh how I hope to change this perspective.
Most of you know, in about FOUR months, I'll be waking down the aisle. Engagement has been an adventure and I'm thankful for the ways Steve and I are growing to know each other and Jesus more. If you know Steve and I, you know we're pretty different. I could make friends with a brick wall and he's a listener. He's laid back and I spend most of my time making lists of places to be and things to do.
We've been going through our church's pre-marriage discipleship program and oh my friends, are we learning. We're learning more about our differences and more about Jesus. It's beautiful and terrifying all at once.
As we go through various topics including: roles/responsibilities, communication, and money, we've spent some time learning about "conflict."
Steve and I have conflict. Lots of it. (I'm learning this is a good thing), but perhaps the #1 conflict we have revolves around the differences between his pace and mine.
Just to bring you up to speed, Steve's "spirit animal" is a sloth. Laid back, chill, and oh so SLOW. My "spirit animal" is something more like an otter or an untrained golden retriever puppy. I think fast, talk fast, and walk fast.
Our conflicts range from fights about how Steve insists on driving 5 MILES BELOW THE SPEED LIMIT to how impatient I am with him. As you can see, we have a lot of growing to do.
As we've been working through these conflicts and talking to our mentor couple about the ins and outs of our struggles, God's been slowly but surely revealing Himself to me.
Through this whole process, I've been pretty sure I am RIGHT. Steve needs to speed up and get on my level. As you can see, I've been pretty humble...
Just this week, I sat on my back porch reading the Scriptures and making a list of the sweet joys in my life.
- The beautiful breeze
- Kitten snuggles
- Soft grass on bare feet
- Rainy mornings
Then Jesus whispered to my heart:
5. Steve's unhurried pace
WHAT?! Can I actually be thankful for the ONE conversation Steve and I have almost daily? The topic that nearly always ends with my arms crossed? AM I SUPPOSED TO BE THANKFUL FOR DRIVING A CONSISTENT FIVE MILES BELOW THE SPEED LIMIT?
Jesus is teaching me that Steve and I's differences are gifts. His unhurried pace; although painful for my quick-paced personality, gives me time to look up and see Jesus. Taking the time to sit on my back porch and list gifts. Taking time to see Jesus in the mundane. Usually I'm too busy sprinting through life or trying to drag Steven along to look up and notice the goodness of God.
Let me clarify that I've not been thankful perfectly. I've still struggled with making snarky remarks when we drive and I haven't always given thanks, but Jesus is teaching me the beauty of a slower pace. There's beauty in our differences. There's beauty in conflict. And there's beauty in driving five miles below the speed limit.