Well friends, I'm engaged. To a fantastic man who genuinely loves the Lord. The proposal was filled with twinkling lights, beautiful fall leaves, friends/family, and of course, a stunning ring. It was perfect. Now that I'm elbow-deep in wedding planning, I should feel secure, right? All those past insecurities melt away with the power of a shimmering diamond on my left hand. My struggle with calories evaporates after I say, "yes," right?
Oh my, friends. Wrong. Oh so wrong.
I hate to tarnish your fairytale dreams, but my fiance is amazing and I feel no more fulfilled than I did a year ago. Seemingly, a slew of new insecurities joined old ones after I made our engagement FBO.
Now that I'm engaged, I did what every girl dreams...I USED my hidden "WEDDING" Pinterest Board. I've obsessively scrolled the famous site searching for the perfect colors, flowers, and dresses. It's exhausting. And not because I stay up far passed my bed-time clicking and pinning (though, I won't completely deny said reality).
I'm exhausted because I'm sick of fighting the lie:
"If you're not pretty/skinny, you don't deserve to be a bride.
Over the past few weeks, my obsession with creating the perfect workout regime consumes me. I'm convinced my mirrors are significantly less-flattering and my non-existent thigh gap is now a serious issue. These thoughts overwhelm me. Instead celebrating the wonderful gift the Lord has given me, I've schemed ways of dropping 10 pounds. Instead of loving and serving Steve, I've begged for affirmation. Instead of praying for our future marriage, I've researched gym memberships.
Guys, I'm over it. I'm worthy of being a bride whether or not my arms look tone in a strapless gown. I'm worthy of being chosen and loved because Jesus chooses and loves me. My appearance doesn't make me worthy of a ring, Jesus' overwhelming love demonstrated on an ugly cross, does.
Whether you're single, dating, engaged, or married, you're worthy of love, joy, and freedom. Not because you boast a flawless complexion or have a 2ct sparkler on your left hand.
You're worthy because Jesus chose you.