Today I said goodbye to Morgan. That's why I have a lot of thoughts today.
We've done life side by side for the past year. We’ve cried together (like ugly, snotty, blotchy cried). Laughed together (rolling on the floor, stomach cramps, and achey cheeks laughed). We’ve resolved conflict (I’m passive aggressive sometimes, oops). We’ve walked through breakups, moves, graduation, eating disorders, panic attacks, new boyfriends, Gospel sharing, support raising, mission trips, ear piercings, and lots (and I mean LOTS) of brownie in a mug (this incredible Pinterest recipe that makes a single brownie in less than 5 minutes- it’s divine).
This morning we shared one last meal together at our favorite Columbus cafe, prayed together, and through a long tearful hug said goodbye for the next four months. I leave for Colorado in a few days and she leaves for Jamkhed, India at the end of June. (She’s a baller and is serving as a nurse in the poorest parts of India until September alongside my sweet roommate Abby).
God truly blessed my life when he teamed me up with Morgs. This girl knows my 10%. The 10% of life that you pray no one ever finds out. That part of your life that haunts you when you close your eyes. That story that satan plays in your thoughts like a broken record. She knows everything from my darkest, most shameful thought to how I take my coffee (little bit of skim and a packet of Splenda). And every single time I’ve shared something with her, I’ve been met with indescribable grace. I’ve been met with prayer, support, and encouragement. Through intimately sharing my entire life with Morgan, I have seen more of the Lord’s heart and come to know Him deeper. To be fully known and fully loved has set me free in indescribable ways.
As much as I love Morgan and her friendship, it's just a shadow. It's just a shadow of our relationship with God.
God's love for us is reckless.
God’s heart is for you and I to know that we are fully known and fully loved by Him. He knows our messy dirty secrets, yet still looks at us and says “I choose you. I love you. I want you.” So I’ll die for you, to prove how desperately in love with you I am and so that we can be together forever. This is beautiful. As much as Morgan loves me, she can't save me. I needed Jesus and for Him to save me. Praise God because He knows the part of my life that I don't even know and still loves me miraculously.
I pray that you find a friend like Morgan with whom you can do life. Pray for God to give you a teammate who knows everything from the nightmare that wakes you up multiple times a week to the kind of journal you would pick out for yourself. God wants you to know His heart and He often shows us more of His heart through precious friendships here on this planet we call earth.
And because I’m sure you’re dying to know that brownie in a mug recipe, here ya go:
1 cute coffee mug (yes, it has to be cute)
2 tbs sugar (here's a secret, make sure you put the sugar in first)
2 tbs flour
1 tbs cocoa
pinch of salt
1 tbs oil
2 tbs h2o
(add chocolate chips if you're feeling risky...which I hope you are)
microwave 1 minute
Top with peanut butter because YUM.