[Original post date: January 2014]
I celebrated the beginning of 2014 with four precious friends with whom the Lord gifted me this year. We celebrated with cheesecake, books, board games, and prayer. It was wonderful. Perhaps one of the greatest gifs the Lord gave me this year was one of my most treasured friends, Morgan. For those of you who don’t know Morgan, she’s deep and she asks questions. A lot of questions. Not the easy questions either, but the hard, pressing questions that make your thoughts swirl.
Last night was no exception. We fought exhaustion as we spent the first hours of 2014 reflecting and marveling at our beautiful God. In the midst of our conversation she asked me, “Whit, how has your view of God changed this year?” Her question slammed me like a Greyhound as I began to consider and process my relationship with the Lord and the work He’s done in my life. After a few seconds I gave her a scattered, sleep-deprived answer. However, I couldn’t shake her question.
I spent today wrestling with this thought: who is God to me? How has His presence changed in my life this year? Or rather, how do I view God differently after 365 days which included: recovery from Anorexia Nervosa, a summer in the Rockies, college graduation, and HEAPS of change?
Last year I decided God was real. I grew up memorizing stories about Him and singing songs about His love; I even talked to Him frequently. But at the end of 2012, I decided He was real. And not only was He real, but He knew me. In 2013 I started learning who this real God is. I wrestled with His goodness, His trustworthiness, His love, and countless other questions. I doubted His character a lot, but I knew He was real. I still don’t get it, and I doubt I ever will. It’s part of the adventure, part of the faith, but I came alive this year because I decided not only is God real, not only does He know me, but Hecares about ME.
It was a year of life transformation; more importantly, it was the year I decided God cares about me. It is this truth that carried me through recovery, climbed the Rocky mountains with me, helped me say goodbye to undergrad, and stood as my constant through the changes.
As you say goodnight to the first day of 2014, I challenge you to spend some time reflecting on Morgan’s question: How has your view of God changed this year? I hope you see that He cares about you too.